3 Meaningful Ways To Build Trust
You have to earn trust.
How many times have we heard that? We know it’s true but there is a lot of questions that arise from that statement.
One is how much trust do I have to build to EARN the trust?
Another is, depending on the person, some people need more time then others so how many hoops are you going to make me jump through before I have EARNED it.
And one that we all struggle with is when we think we have done enough to EARN the trust but you don’t think so then we have a problem or an upset. Many times that is our own impatience and selfishness but sometimes, not really.
So how do you earn trust.
#1. Be On Time – and if you are not on time, you need to call and stay accountable to when you will arrive. No excuses just when will you be there. One of the most important pieces of this scenario is you need to call before you are late. In other words don’t call 15 minutes after you were suppose to be there to say you will be late. You get ZERO points for that. Actually it’s a negative number.
#2. Don’t Assume – We fall into this trap and then find ourselves justifying and rationalizing why we thought we didn’t need to let you know why we did or did not do something. This just perpetuates the same feelings and experiences we have so often caused during our addictive behaviors. So, even if our situation is legitimate, the behavior around the situation smells and feels like dishonesty and once again we get a negative number for trust.
#3. No More Buts – When we do need to clean something up, whether it is being late or any other thing that feels like we need to be open and honest about, it does not do us any good to make a statement of admission and then follow it with a, but this is why this or that happened.
Just own it and don’t make excuses.
The most important thing to do is be consistent. Time will take time and consistency does not get a break.
Here is the reality of the situation. We can work for 6 months to build trust and in one moment of inconsistency we can wipe out everything we built over that time period.
Consistency is the key.
Remember: Recovery Is Not An Accident