4 Stages of Trauma

Who Hasn’t Experienced Trauma In Their Life?

I have heard this statement a lot lately.  In fact it has come up in a variety of different social groups.  In other words not just people in recovery but in social settings where recovery is very mysterious, if you know what I mean.

I took it as a sign and decided to dig in a little and take a deeper look at the world of trauma and trauma recovery.

To begin with, no wonder this topic spans a number of different groups of people.  There really isn’t anyone who hasn’t experienced some level of trauma in their life.  The reality is there probably isn’t one human being, ever in the history of the world, who lived and never experienced some trauma.  We all know how the WW II generation dealt with it.  They just didn’t talk about it.  They kept it stuffed down. This mentality of stuffing emotions and secrets morphed into the family dynamics as well.  Anything that happened behind closed doors was just not talked about.  Personally, my family dynamic was like that in the 1970’s and 80’s and I still wrestle with the vestiges of that trauma.

It was like Shultzie from Hogan’s Heroes, I see nothing, I hear nothing, I say nothing.

Well here we are in the age of social media and nothing is sacred, more and more is being exposed and more and more of us realize we all experience some of the same things.  We are not alone but we still need to process it.  It is not enough to just realize what you experienced was very similar to what someone is posting on facebook or blogging or podcasting about.

How we deal with it and process it is the question and to begin that journey we need to look at the stages of trauma.  There might be more but for this conversation we are going to look at the 4 main ones.  Let me know if you connect with any one or all of them.

STAGE 1: SILENCE

When a very traumatic situation occurs the shock that accompanies it is jolting to the human psyche.  There is an abundance of fear and caution and distrust that keeps the individual withdrawn and consumed with victimized silence.  They don’t want to talk about it because it makes them have to relive the painful and the scary and the uncomfortable, so they stay silent.

A number of emotions are swelling around this stage: shame, guilt, embarrassment, feeling alone, denial, rationalization that they somehow caused the event or some other form of trying to sort it all out.  The individual feels very alone and isolated, self-esteem and self-worth are low and the feeling like the world is imploding is beyond overwhelming.  They just want to shut down and hope it goes away.

The trauma almost doubles and triples in this stage because it is relived and pushed down, which is traumatic in itself.  There is no solution, no hope and the victim is stuck in the liminality of their two worlds.   The world before the traumatic event or events and the world after.

STAGE 2: VICTIMHOOD

This stage begins the transition through the trauma.  The time frame and length of time it takes varies for each individual.  Here is where the victim begins to recognize the impact continued suffering is having on their daily life.  Challenges with relationships, work, health and other areas of life are becoming more obvious.  They can choose to stay in denial or begin the process of realizing something needs to change.

Available research indicates there is a battle ensuing within the individual about the need to protect those emotions damaged by the trauma and the need to grow and confront and overcome the traumatic memories and feelings around them.

During this period it is important to have someone who will listen and support them.  Support groups can be helpful but having a close friend or trusting counselor who allows them to process through the trauma without judging or trying to fix anything is more intimate and allows more connection and processing.

STAGE 3: SURVIVORHOOD

As the traumatic event is being processed and there is continued transition away from the victimized experience, the individual begins a new phase.  This process opens up some light in their lives and they begin to see themselves as surviving the trauma instead of consumed by it.  By this time there has been some conversation about the experience with other people.  It’s not a secret anymore.  There has been some processing about what part the individual played or identified themselves as within the trauma.

The event or events are not forgotten but there is more clarity and understanding and meaning around it all.  They have started the process of knowing themselves at a greater level and finding some growth within themselves to build upon and realize who they are capable of becoming.  They are finding their strength and becoming stronger because of the event instead of weaker and hopeless.

This takes time.  It’s a process through which triggers and other memory experiences will need to be worked through.  Maybe it’s dreams or sounds or being in the same place or situations that bring the trauma to the surface.  These triggers need to be dealt with and processed.  Through time they learn, with each of these occurrences, they are still surviving.  There will be times when it seems like they are going backwards, in a sense, but this too is part of the healing.

Resiliency begins to be at their core and through this they learn their inner strengths outweigh any exterior occurrences.

STAGE 4: THRIVING INTO A HIGHER SELF

Not all people make it to this stage.  Most individuals reach survivorhood and realize they have experienced a profound change and have grown past the challenges they faced within the trauma.  They have a greater self-awareness and a mindfulness they didn’t have before.  The way they have processed the event is healthy, they haven’t forgotten it but it is processed in a way they are happy to move on with their lives.

Another set of people choose to continue the growth and go beyond the level of survivorhood that just allows an individual to get on with their life.  These people are willing to continue to be present with the self-development and move into a life roll that allows them to utilize the experience in a capacity to help others and connect with others to help them work through life’s challenges.  These individuals become part of the thriving and growing community of individuals that seek the challenges of life head on and want to connect with others in a capacity of altruism and human compassion.

In this capacity the trauma experience has molded the individual into an entirely different person and they feel compelled to follow their truth beyond the boundaries of just overcoming and surviving the event.  They use it to live into a higher self.

Recovery from trauma is similar to recovery from addiction.  Everyone has their own path and experience.  These are common components to many who recover from trauma just as their are common components for those who recover from addiction disorder.

Any comments you might have are greatly appreciated.

Recovery is not an Accident.